Authoritarian parenting is an extremely strict parenting style. It places high expectations on children with little responsiveness. As an authoritarian parent, you focus more on obedience, discipline, control rather than nurturing your child. Mistakes tend to be punished harshly and when feedback does occur, it’s often negative.
Yelling and corporal punishment are also common. Authoritarian parents punish children for failures while ignoring their achievements. They expect the child not to make mistakes and to obey them. However, the children they raise are typically good at following rules.
Characteristics of Authoritarian Parents
Socializing your children to the values and expectations of your culture is one of the major roles of parenting. However, if you’re an authoritarian parent, you may have your own expectations of your child that are contrary to what your child wants.
Other characteristics that may help to bring out authoritarian traits in your parenting style include:
You show little warmth or effort to nurture. Sometimes children can be truant, but that doesn’t allow you to become cold, unfriendly, and harsh towards your children. Instead of yelling at them, offer your kids the encouragement and praise they need to develop self-esteem and self-worth.
You default to shaming instead of positive reinforcement. Good parenting should have you instill good morals through a process that considers your child’s emotions. If you find yourself causing feelings of shame to compel your children to follow rules, you might be practicing authoritarian parenting. It’s important to know that shaming may lead to children having a bad attitude towards you. It also weakens the bond between you and a child, as they may want to avoid spending time with you.
You’re impatient with misbehavior. As an authoritarian parent, you may not expect your children to engage in undesirable behavior. It’s difficult for you to accommodate a tolerant relationship with your child. Since you believe you know better, you may also lack the patience to explain to your children why they should avoid certain behavior. Instead, you spend little or no energy at all thinking about your kid’s perspective.
You have trust issues. Are you the kind of parent who doesn’t trust your children to make good choices? If you are, it’s time to change your parenting style. Children brought up by authoritarian parents don’t have the freedom to show that they can display good behavior. When you are always watching a child to ensure they don't make mistakes, you limit them from making decisions on their own. As a result, your child fails to face natural consequences for their choices which serve as valuable life lessons. You show no feelings or empathy. An authoritarian parent doesn’t empathize or show feelings for their kids. If you make no effort to entertain or understand your child’s emotions, it communicates insensitivity and lack of concern. Being such a parent will cause your children to emulate such behavior, treating others without regard for how they feel. Parenting styles have been associated with a variety of child outcomes including social skills and academic performance. The consequences of authoritarian parenting are more negative than positive. Below are some of the negative effects: Effects of Authoritarian Parenting on A Child
Although authoritarian parenting is associated with negative outcomes, there are some possible positive outcomes. They include: Regardless of any perceived benefits of authoritarian parenting, it’s far better to be accommodating with your children. Change begins with admitting you don’t know everything there is to know about parenting. Getting as much information as possible about how to bring up a child the right way will go a long way toward making you a better parent.
SOURCES: American Academy of Pediatrics: “Pressure to Perform.”Show Sources
GoodTherapy: “Self-Esteem.”
Journal of Education and Development: “Communication in Authoritarian Parenting on Learner Participation in Early Childhood Education Science Class in Homabay County, Kenya.”, “Influence of Parenting Style on Children’s Behaviour.”
National Center for Biotechnology Information: “Effective discipline for children.”
Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development: “Why parenting matters for children in the 21st century.”
Parents: “Authoritarian Parenting: The Pros and Cons, According to a Child Psychologist”
Parenting For Brain: “What is Authoritarian Parenting? Does Tough Love Work?”
SAGE Journals: “Telling a different story: The effect of parenting on the academic and professional achievement of 24 British-Ghanaian high flyers.”