4 year old twins not listening

Discipline: Top Dos and Donts When Your Kids Wont Listen

Its a familiar drill. Youve asked your child to do some task, but they flatly refuse to do it. Youve tried all the tricks: Youve used the mom voice, counted to three, and broken out all the stops, and your child still defies you. Its enough to make any parent frustrated!

When its time to get serious and discipline your child, do you know if youre disciplining them correctly? Are you sure youre making the right choices? Where do you draw the line?

Pediatrician Edward Gaydos, DO has some dos and donts for you to follow when it comes time to discipline your little one.

1. Dont view discipline as punishment

Discipline may feel as though youre punishing your kids. However, discipline is more of a means of actively engaging with kids to help mold their moral character a way to teach them right from wrong. And this is a skill that is vital to functioning in society.

With discipline, were teaching our children self-control and restraint, explains Dr. Gaydos. Punishment is a direct, pointed penalty or a loss of privilege that serves as retribution.

While discipline is far more effective than punishment, know that it does require a little more work. Just remember that its a process.

2. Do find opportunities for praise

Its important to pay attention to what your child is doing thats good, and recognize that aloud to your child, Dr. Gaydos advises.

Make an effort to notice when your child is actively engaged in appropriate behaviors, being good, and compliment them accordingly. Giving positive attention to good behavior can go a long way. It can help mold your childs behavior, but it can also build their confidence in themselves too.

Take the time to listen fully to what your child has to say, and agree when appropriate. If you disagree, say so. Make sure you take the time to let them know why, Dr. Gaydos says.

Parents who are available to, and show empathy toward, their children serve as excellent role models, he notes. Communication is always the key.

3. Do set limits and keep them

We all have to abide by limits in our world, and your child needs to understand those boundaries too. Take the time to let youngsters and adolescents know the appropriate behaviors you expect from them. But once you set your limit, be sure to stick to it. A good example of this is setting a curfew.

We set these limits, then we follow through with them, says Dr. Gaydos. If your child falters, they should know that there will be a consistent, expected consequence. There are no surprises, no new negotiations and no retractions.

4. Do be specific

Assuming your child should know what you want and not being clear about what you expect in advance will lead to frustrations for both you and your child. Set clear, realistic limits with your child. And be specific with goals.

Warning children, You better be good, is too broad and general a message, says Dr. Gaydos. Being specific with tasks like letting them know exactly what good looks like helps them understand whats expected of them. Good may mean not interrupting an adult whos speaking, for example, or not running through a crowded airport.

5. Youre their parent, not their buddy

It may be tempting to treat your kids like theyre your best friend. But kids need you to lead and teach them as they grow. Disciplining your child and setting limits will instill confidence as they learn to navigate through life.

With discipline, were not passive observers suddenly required to react. Were actively involved as teachers, says Dr. Gaydos. Its an ongoing process and requires work.

But disciplining will pay dividends as you watch your youngster grow, become more confident and develop a good moral compass.

adolescents children healthy boundaries parenting tips raising children

Related Articles

December 3, 2021 / Pediatrics

December 3, 2021 / Pediatrics

Effects of Social Media on Children

November 30, 2020 / Pediatrics

November 30, 2020 / Pediatrics

Best Tips for Dealing With Your Stubborn Tween

August 17, 2018 / Pediatrics

August 17, 2018 / Pediatrics

Back-to-School Jitters? 5 Tips to Help Your Child

July 12, 2021 / Pediatrics

July 12, 2021 / Pediatrics

Tips to Help You Survive Your Toddlers Terrible Twos

October 1, 2020 / Pediatrics

October 1, 2020 / Pediatrics

5 Dos and Donts to Help You Survive Your Toddlers Tantrums

June 17, 2020 / Pediatrics

June 17, 2020 / Pediatrics

Help, My Kids Are Driving Me Crazy!